Is Marriage a Good Relationship Goal?

“…it’s like a workshop, for single ladies to find their Adam..”

“The ultimate goal in a relationship, romantic, between Adam (man) and Eve (woman) is marriage.” 

The day was just starting, rustic in its morning dew.It was after early service at least and some coffee was swirling in my veins. I was, at least, alert enough to pay attention and comment…even if my face said otherwise. Some of the younger single ladies were just chilling, since we didn’t have much to do.

It does make me wonder about setting marriage as the ultimate relationship goal. I don’t think its a bad goal, but it is set as the ultimate Christian goal for romantic male-female relationships.

Sure, there are some stupid relationship goals out there. Some of them really don’t make sense either. Relationships are changing especially for the younger generation(s). More young people are living together before marriage. More couples are not even getting married at all but people are still having children, buying houses, and weaving lives together. So the human race is not dying out even if marriage is on the decline.

Plenty of people have done research on the rise of single parent households. The effects of single parenthood on both mother and child, the effects of not having a father figure….and many more related things. Yet the old way of marriage and relationships were not any more perfect than the modern counterparts. People stayed together longer than some of us are alive, and with that comes many problems. Not sure if I was born in another time would I have been married for decades. It is hard to imagine being married even at my ‘youngish’ age.

As a single Christian, I have the option of marriage or celibacy in my relationships (if I’m trying to live the best chaste life possible). Chasity is out of the question as an option (I don’t want that life lol.) Others around me were of mixed feelings—some loved the idea but rather not have the reality, while others vouched that marriage is best no matter the situation.

I am still undecided on the topic. Marriage can be beautiful—but is it really needed today?





When Doing Right Feels Wrong

The inner caress of the thigh. Feeling secure in your lover’s sleeping arms. Feeling a longing towards your girlfriend, one you love like a sister. Being a loving gay couple deep in the South. Questioning your own gender because it feels like a mistake. Wondering why virginity matters to everyone but you.

In the Christian walk, you look towards the Bible for guidance, advice, and clarification. It lays down a flurry of sins and things not to do: adultery, fornication, gender roles, homosexuality (or same sex behavior), along with others. As unmarried it is hard to love the way that the Bible may say love.

Love your neighbors. Love your enemies. Love God. Love the opposite sex. Love, but don’t have sexual relations outside marriage. Love, but hold fast to virginity. Love, but be chaste and modest in your ways. Love, but be a willing sacrifice.

I can’t sleep as of late. Trying to do better, to get the scarlet ‘F’ off my chest. I sleep well in the loving presence of my significant other, deep within the loving embrace. Not allowed though, living together without marriage. It branches into fornication too easily, too naturally. Thus I sleep alone, or try to. Mostly I crash from exhaustion or my mind finally blanks out enough that sleep can finally take me. It’s usually late when I do sleep, and I start the day more tired than yesterday.

College is hard enough with ample amounts of sleep. This is just pushing it. Yet this is an attempt to get closer to the Lord. By doing the right things, reading our Bibles more, and some prayer. At least I hope so.

Not being able to caress my other half is hard. It’s hard and doesn’t even feel remotely good. Fighting urges of the sexual kind is also frustrating. I am sure that are others that feel the pain. Reassuring yourself that God doesn’t make mistakes about anything, from your biological sex to the gender you are attracted to. Having others state that your love is wrong and perverse, akin to some disease. Stating over and over that the sinful human nature is the reason for your unhappiness and that if you do the right thing everything will work for your good. I have to wonder if all this self denial is worth it. Is it truly worth it to feel disheartened, angry, and confused? Would changing this part of me, by force if necessary, truly be something good and just? Is the conflict with my true morals or with my true self?

I have faith that it is worth it. That’s why I’m trying in combination for the person that I love. Love makes you do things for another, like trying to be a better Christian human being. Closeness is also part of my motive. As a creator myself why wouldn’t I want to be with the ultimate creator? The one that has made billions of masterpieces from the rocks to everyone that has lived, is living, and will be alive someday. I haven’t even made one masterpiece in my artistic career as of yet, at least in my eyes. So why wouldn’t I want a greater closeness? Yet…the start of the process is not fun. Not sure if this is a complaint or a warning to others, so you can take it as what it comes off to you. I have to guess the beginning is never fun.