Is Marriage a Good Relationship Goal?

“…it’s like a workshop, for single ladies to find their Adam..”

“The ultimate goal in a relationship, romantic, between Adam (man) and Eve (woman) is marriage.” 

The day was just starting, rustic in its morning dew.It was after early service at least and some coffee was swirling in my veins. I was, at least, alert enough to pay attention and comment…even if my face said otherwise. Some of the younger single ladies were just chilling, since we didn’t have much to do.

It does make me wonder about setting marriage as the ultimate relationship goal. I don’t think its a bad goal, but it is set as the ultimate Christian goal for romantic male-female relationships.

Sure, there are some stupid relationship goals out there. Some of them really don’t make sense either. Relationships are changing especially for the younger generation(s). More young people are living together before marriage. More couples are not even getting married at all but people are still having children, buying houses, and weaving lives together. So the human race is not dying out even if marriage is on the decline.

Plenty of people have done research on the rise of single parent households. The effects of single parenthood on both mother and child, the effects of not having a father figure….and many more related things. Yet the old way of marriage and relationships were not any more perfect than the modern counterparts. People stayed together longer than some of us are alive, and with that comes many problems. Not sure if I was born in another time would I have been married for decades. It is hard to imagine being married even at my ‘youngish’ age.

As a single Christian, I have the option of marriage or celibacy in my relationships (if I’m trying to live the best chaste life possible). Chasity is out of the question as an option (I don’t want that life lol.) Others around me were of mixed feelings—some loved the idea but rather not have the reality, while others vouched that marriage is best no matter the situation.

I am still undecided on the topic. Marriage can be beautiful—but is it really needed today?





L’Oreal Liquid Chalk Review

Hey everyone! I am back with some color for those cold winter nights! 😀 This is my review of the L’Oreal Liquid Chalk! I did not take pics unfortunately but feel free to ask questions about how it turned out!

Previous Hair Color: Natural black
Hair Style: Two strand twists (with a right side flat twist)
For my method of application, I had my hair in mostly two strand twists with the right side flat twisted.
Product: Shimmery purple liquid (Very Violet color), thin in constancy–a bit runny.

I would use gloves to apply this product again. It does stain your fingers, but it wears off after a few washes (or about a day).It’s also really runny, so it will get down your fingers and hands. I started off applying it with two fingers, then switched to holding the ends of my twists under a cloth while letting the color drip and saturate the ends. It states on the directions that it lasts an average of two shampoos depending on how much you apply and the porosity of your hair. It lasted around two days of wear but the color did start to fade from a vibrant violet to a semi shimmering purple.

It is a good alternative to semi permanent hair dye and it cost around 7.50 at Sally’s. You will have to reapply during the week, especially with low porosity hair. I had to pour a good bit into my fingers because I have black hair and needed a bit more to see it. It does make the parts of your hair dry and a bit crunchy when it dries, but it could be because of my extra pouring. Right now I am soaking my hair in coconut oil before washing it but the color was coming out in my hands as I layered the oil. I’m sure it will wash out very quickly in the shower, especially with sulfate/sulfate-free shampoo.

Trims and Coconut Oil

Snip. Snip. Twist. Snip.

I have decided that those tangled little ends had to go. I couldn’t put off looking for a salon any longer. My split ends just had to go that day, as I was twisting my hair into another two strand style.

Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip.

The ball of hair kept growing and growing as each end of my twists were trimmed and dusted. I probably lost around an inch around my whole head, some places may have lost a little more. I’m not much of a fan of cutting my hair. I can enjoy short hair but I rather have the ends brush against my shoulder as I do a head turn. Much more dramatic.

I had slathered my hair in coconut oil before the wash, twist, and snip process. Slap on a plastic cap and sit for around an hour to burn some time. Detangling was much easier afterwards, so that’s a bit of good news.

Now to see about some color…..

For Beautiful Hair Have You Tried…

Healthy hair is a beautiful thing. My curls are very tight kinks, that you can see the curl pattern at the ends much better than the beginning or middle. When I cut my hair I wanted something different but still long hair was a good thing. I wanted to see if my hair could go past the tops of my shoulders. In my year and some change of trying products, searching YouTube, and reading sites one thing was missing. It was so vital that I felt silly for neglecting this fact. This is something that cannot be looked over, since without it beautiful hair, or anything, is not possible.

Have a healthy, vitamin and mineral filled diet with plenty of water!

It’s hard to do so. Even with a meal plan I know that I do not get all my required vitamins for the day. What happens when you don’t get enough vitamins day after day? You become deficient and your body struggles more and more to make up for your lack. Your hair can’t be all it can be without the needed tools. Anything in your body can’t be all it can be without the tools. I take a multivitamin supplement every day and try to incorporate plenty of fruits, vegetables, and healthy grains into my daily diet.

Water is much harder for me to drink. It tastes like nothing. I don’t want any weird aftertaste, of course, but it’s hard for water to compete with sweet tea and sodas. I’m trying to wean myself off the processed sugars but it’s a battle. I drink my supply of herbal teas along with more water. Your body needs water—it’s a fact of life. The American diet isn’t strong on the importance of water, but we need less sodas. It’s a fact.  For a healthier head of hair, and the rest of you, the secret is water & vitamins.

Of Coconut Oil & Head Wraps

“It’s natural to be afraid of the unknown, but why does the unknown has to be me?”

I’m sure that I can be considered an odd sight, with my multi patterned brown hued wrap and swishing cheeks that contained a mouthful of warmed coconut oil. Even more an odd sight am I walking along on campus with a mostly white population and very few ‘anyone else’. Of course I feel the stares before seeing them, almost like a supernatural sense. The logical equation is this: If I go outside with my head wrap, then it is true that people (more than 5) will stare.

The stares are different based on the person. Some are confused starers, others are neutral. Some are interested, others are bored (with classes/life). At times I am mistaken for Muslim. Other times people think I’m Afrocentric & Anti-American (because they tie the two together most times). I’m pretty sure that I’m not feared….at least I hope not. With my small stature I am not intimidating.

With my big jar of coconut oil I start my day by swishing a teaspoon or so around my mouth. It melts quickly, leaving a hint of coconut flavor as I go around and around. My suite mate gives me the odd look, like ‘why are you using oil like mouthwash?’ even though it promotes good oral health. I guess the idea of oil for more than oiling is strange here. Then I place a layer of oil on my face, rub thoroughly, place a hot cloth on my face and wipe gently away. Leaves my face soft and clean but I still get the strange look. Coconut oil is also good for sealing in moisture after a shower, just like a fancy scented lotion without the extra ingredients.

So I’m slapped with the ‘Black Hippie’ label, because hippies back in the day weren’t black (according to image searches lol) and since I’m black with the new wave ‘go green, use natural ingredients’ I’m a Black Hippie. Of coconut oil and head wraps, at least I stand out in individuality.


Yarn Braids Experience

Greetings everyone! It’s a whole New Year, which means a whole new routine to get into! This is my first post of 2016, after I registered for classes and other college business. Let’s get to the post, shall we?

Yarn Braids: Why Get Them?

This turned out to be a great protective style for anyone who wants to change it up by doing something different. As you see above I chose red and black acrylic yarn for my version. I wanted some color without the commitment of dying my hair.

Before You Install…

I had to make sure to shampoo, condition, and twist my hair for some stretch action. My hair likes shrinks a good bit so the twisting and drying is a must before braiding. I just shampooed and conditioned with Mane N’ Tail Deep Moisturizing Shampoo & Conditioner. My leave in was Eden Bodyworks Coconut Leave in Lotion. I used Organic Shea Butter to seal it and twist. Looking back on it, I would use a deep conditioner also for extra moisture.

The Process!

You see, I was on winter break with nothing to do. The college closed down and my job is online based, so I had plenty of time! I used around 3 days, at 2 or so hours each. It will probably take more gifted people less than 6-8 hours but I’m a beginning braider. Message_1450215993370

I got as close to the scalp as I could stand without slippage. I just removed by two strand twists, sprayed water & used leave in, and sealed with an avocado oil mix before braiding. My black yarn was pretty thick and easy to use but my red yarn was smaller in diameter. Get the thicker yarn brands…it pays off in the end. I ran out of black yarn eventually so I used several strands of red yarn to finish the look.

I moisturized my hair with my spray bottle of water and avocado oil mix. I had to squeeze the water and oil into the braids in little bunches after saturating. My scalp was out and extremely easy to moisturize and seal. I did shampoo and cowash my braids twice and kept the style for a month. Not bad for a random hairdo.

Taking them out!

Removing the braids was a long process. Longer than putting them in I would guess. I did the removal all in one afternoon/night. The thicker yarn was great. Clip the ends, unravel the braid, and slip it out of your hair. Used conditioner and oil to make my life a bit easier. The thinner yarn got stuck around itself in the braided pattern. The strands did not want to separate as easily, which was annoying. Maybe if I washed less it wouldn’t have that effect?

I removed all the braids, trimmed the ends of my hair, slapped in some Eden Body works Deep Conditioner in my sections and called it a night.

In the end, I liked the experiment. Maintenance was pretty easy–just moisturize and seal every couple of days. It doesn’t get any easier than that. Installing will take a minute, even with YouTube entertainment. My braiding skill needs some good practice so I will probably try this again. Just with thicker yarn next time. 😀

Long Haired Black Girl?

“Oh my God…you cut your hair!?!?” Freak out ensures after this popular quote usually by one of my relatives that haven’t seen me in a while. In their minds I was the same girl with the shoulder touching, collar bone brushing straight brown hair.

“Your hair is so short now…” The eyes would look around my face, to my sporty new curls and then shine in disappointment. I have committed a crime. I had cut my ‘long’ hair. No black girl in my small town would dare cut her long hair!

My family, and the neighborhood, spit this out as universal truth: that black girls usually have short hair. Those who do not have short hair have long hair and should keep it at all costs because black girls do not have long hair. My hair was relaxed like everyone else. Nothing too special. A normal brown hue that was red at the tips and black at the roots. I had an odd mix of three colors that would catch the light and confuse everyone since I never dyed my hair in my life.

After chopping off my relaxed hair, I became the new oddity in my town. Only old ladies had natural hair, usually because of hair loss. Not one young woman in good health wore her natural hair until I took the leap. Especially not a young woman with long hair.

Over the year of natural hair I saw growth. It wasn’t easy with my little fro but the growth was hidden between the kinks and bends. My boyfriend was the first one to see the growth, after he got over the drastic length change bless his heart. LOL! Even when I thought it wasn’t growing he was always assuring me that it was getting bigger by the day.

The curls started to stand up in spite of gravity. My hair wasn’t the same black-brown-red ombre that I had in my relaxed days. The color was just black now. The chemicals had lifted and damaged so much of my hair that the pigment that dictated hair color was lifted with each treatment. At the roots it was a mass of kinks but the ends were small little tight spirals. I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and still do.

My short hair was not met with the same love and wonder that prompted me to cut it. Most people were confused back in my town, and others didn’t care at my college. It was just hair to the masses. Yet to the Black people in my town, I had cut my feminine glory. I was now the ‘weird’ woman, the one that wasn’t feminine but too petite to be masculine. My biblical crown had been removed by my own insanity to sport nappy short locks.

Yet my hair kept growing and growing despite the common knowledge. My hair is now shoulder length right now but that’s okay. Now its getting towards ‘long hair’ standards by those who see me stretch it (usually during styling). Obviously the common knowledge is a myth for the most part. Genetics and lifestyle actually determine hair length better than anything. Take care of your body, and your body will reflect that everywhere.

I’ve had women my age call me crazy, mostly because it’s so different. That’s cool. But for the record, black women can and do grow hair.